July 4, 2016

It was an amazing Fourth of July! Today was the first time Tyler and I were out socially as a couple. I know we have only been together for a few days, but each new thing, each new step, each tiny intricacy is still so surreal. I never dreamed he would be with me and yet, I’ve felt, all of my life, that he was perfect. I would just never acknowledge it. All of that time, I spent doubting myself, convinced I wasn’t enough for him to even notice me. The funny thing is, without the Arelyth Chronicles, this may never have come about. Is it possible I have Owen to thank?

Being at Scot’s picnic, knowing that Tyler is my boyfriend– it was a thought I just kept replaying, because it never stopped feeling amazing to realize. And it’s just the beginning…that thought also thrills me! Tomorrow, we are going to the lake with Trent and Scot. I am truly looking forward to a normal summer outing! I guess I have Owen to thank for that, as well.

I find myself wondering now, if things will just go back to normal and remain that way, or if any of the things and people who contributed to our new perspective, will revisit us again. There is a whole new depth to the world and part of me is eager to explore it. The other part of me would be very happy with simple and ordinary for a while.

Either way, I’ve learned that Now is what matters most…and this now is pretty amazing. It finally feels like I have a hold of it, or rather, like I don’t need to. It feels eternal, like we have all the time in the world. Even today doesn’t feel like its ending, though it will be midnight in a few minutes and I am just about to turn in. Maybe it’s because he didn’t just drop me off…maybe it’s because he is still here with me, lying beside me, waiting for me to finish writing so he can wrap his arms around me and share that drifting into sleep. Or maybe it’s because it really is all eternal…

So I will end tonight’s entry with this truth: It’s the first time in my adult life that I am loving every moment of now and am so excited about what tomorrow will bring!

Ellie Mayfield  11:59pm

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